“Goals direct us from the inside, but shoulds are paralyzing judgments from the outside. Goals feel like authentic dreams while shoulds feel like oppressive obligations. Shoulds set up a false dichotomy between either meeting an ideal or being a failure, between perfection or settling. The tyranny of the should even pits us against our own best interests.”

Meg Jay

Identity Crisis and Identity Capital

Identity crisis is what you go through to “find yourself”.  This is a period of time when you explore and discover yourself.  You travel, yoga, climb, get away, join clubs, volunteer, go to mission trips and meet people.  

Identity capital is your collection of personal assets.  It is the repertoire of individual resources that you assemble over time.  These are the investments we make in ourselves, the things we do well enough, or long enough, that they become a part of who we are.  

Some identity capital goes on a resume, such as degrees, jobs, test scores, and clubs.  Other identity capital is more personal, such as how we speak, where we are from, how we solve problems, how we look.

Identity capital is how we build ourselves - bit by bit, over time.

Most important, identity capital is what we bring to the adult marketplace.  

It is the currency we use to metaphorically purchase jobs and relationships and other things we want.  

- The Defining Decade

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It is imperative that you are very intentional about building your identity capital in the midst and all throughout your identity crisis.

You cannot afford to ‘get wasted’ and ‘waste time’ - just because you were having a crisis about yourself.

All throughout your exploration - constantly strive to build your identity capital.  

Struggle and pray to find your voice - discover your asset - the very unique thing you were created for.  

The reason you were to contribute to this world.