A faint cry from the bedroom gets me racing to check on my 17-day-old son, Enoch.

He’s fidgeting, flailing his arms, kickin’ his legs and lets out in exasperation a near-deafening cry that demands 110% of my attention and observation skills.

The mosaic of a million different expressions on his face that changes every nanosecond makes me second-guess and third-guess the prescription that I gave myself a second ago.

Is he wet, soiled, hungry, stuffed (nose), hot - or all at the same time?

But no matter what condition he might be in - he simply cries.

I talk to him and reassure him that I’m there for him.

He cries.

I gently pat him and sing him my bass-version of lullaby that’s supposed to soothe him.

He cries.

I pick him up and lay him across my chest and rub him to help him either burp or fart.

He cries.

I lay him down on the changing-table and get ready to check & change his diapers.

He cries all the more. With every ounce of milk he has sucked in his last feeding session w/ his mom.

He simply cries.

Crying is all he can do.

He sees me. He knows I’m there. He know I’ll help him and do whatever it takes to give him comfort, peace, and rest.

But he cries.

Because crying is all he can do when he’s wet, soiled, hungry, stuffed uncomfortable, frustrated and etc.

_______________________________

I think of how much my crying God has put up with.

How much of my incessant, loud, obnoxious, not-knowing-when-to-stop crying - He has endured.

At every turn of discomfort - I’d keep crying till He’d somehow come and make it go away. Like my son, Enoch.

The desperate and helpless cry would never fail to reach the ears my heavenly Father. He’d be there, every time to reassure me of His presence.

The divine pat or the rub - would always put me at ease and help me to surrender and fall back to sleep in His arms of love.

When crying was all I could do - it was enough to awaken and summon the presence of my heavenly Father.

As the psalmist testifies:

I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. O Israel, put your hope in the LORD both now and forevermore. (Ps. 131:2-3)

Contractions.

Intervals.

It all began on the night of March 23, 2013. They were 5 minutes apart. It was time.

Started carrying all 12+ bags that were packed to the brim with all kinds of items that we might need … just in case … at the hospital according to my wife.

Then, snapped on the carseat, let the engine roar, said a brief prayer that went something like “it’s time God, you know what to do” - then slowly eased out of the parking lot and headed for the hospital.

After 12 long hours of standing, walking, hip-turning and breathing (or the attempt to breathe), there stood and sat before us the midwife that brought in the crew together - and Iris gave the final push and out came Enoch - full of blood and bruises and crying like … well … a baby.

I stood stunned, unable to speak - and at the same time tried to peer off the enormous grip Iris had on my already blood-drained hands.

My eyes began to water … (something in my eyes) - and whispered to Iris “수고했어” and thought about the woman who brought me in this world - and rediscovered the profound gratitude respect for her and the woman before me - the woman I loved with all my heart.

Then my eyes turned to my son … the helpless quivering and crying babe that softly rested his tiny little head upon the bosom of his mother - who by instinct began to satisfy his craving from his mother’s breast.

The tiny little babe, my son, who came naked with nothing in his name, nothing in his hands - fully satisfied and content by the free, sacrificial, and loving provision made by his mother.

7 full days have passed with that little tiny infant - him taking fully for granted everything that was prepared in advance for him - enjoying and relishing being the son of his father and mother. Ruthlessly crying out and demanding that we wake up in the middle of the night and early hours of morning to feed him and comfort him to a blissful rest and sleep.

Just before he’d go to sleep … he’d wink, smile, make faces, that would cause us to wonder, clap, laugh and celebrate him. We’d take out our cameras - take and record endless photos and video clips of this little boy.

Then my heart turns to our heavenly Father - who, in His delight in us - would not miss a single heartbeat or movement that we’d make - and make sure He captures ALL of them.

Sometimes Enoch would straight-up pee in my face and in my shirt - but lo and behold - I find myself laughing, rejoicing and somehow delighting … yes, in his bowel movements.

I don’t know how many times I’ve peed in my heavenly Father’s face - and yet He doesn’t turn away - rather He draws ever nearer - cleans me up with His divine baby-wipes - smiles and changes my soiled human diapers and still calls me His son.

Oh, the depth of love of our heavenly Father.

Dimly but surely - in my short 7 days of fatherhood - I do raise my voice and praise my heavenly Father for His undying love and deep compassion for me - His son.

Happy Fatherhood!

Happy Easter!

Praise God!

It’s been awhile.  

Amidst flurry of activities, trips, events, studies and prep for the even more hectic, busy, sleepless days that lie ahead (due to the soon arrival of my son) … I had lost all track of time.

At this rate, it just seems like I might lose all sense of time and after 3 years of life gone by - I would look back and ask myself, what on earth have I been doing for the last 3 years of my life?

There is definitely a greater need for me to just stop … reflect and recap.  Sort out and make sense of the overloaded schedule and activities that crushes the spirit out of my soul day after day.  

Where am I headed?  What am I after?  What kind of person am I becoming?  Am I being led by God?  

The ever annoying and incessant attempts of lure and temptation presents itself to my ever vulnerable soul.  

The enticement to lose myself, keep myself busy and occupy my mind with whatever I see fit.  To choose restlessness and thoughtlessness over contemplation and prayer.  

The Spirit leads and prompts me to be still before Him … through His Word.  The book of Matthew open before me.  Jesus, in tune with His heavenly Father … never hurries or fills his life with His agenda or His desires.  

He simply submits ALL … in the presence of His heavenly Father.  He daily picks up His cross and follows the voice of His heavenly Father.

He takes time to pray, touch, listen, heal, meet, eat, cleanse, forgive, revive, resurrect and restore.  

Every moment and every encounter is specified by the iCal of heaven.  

He seems far more interested in being present than being productive.  

He doesn’t try to achieve - rather He simply obeys and follows.  

He takes time to care. love and have compassion.  His ultimate agenda is love and to give Himself to those who need Him.  

In that moment of stillness, while the fresh dew of His Spirit falls upon my silent and yet attentive heart … Jesus bids me … to follow Him.  

So where am I headed and what am I after?  

Time with Jesus.  Period. 

From baby’s first inception - to the 1st year out of the womb - all throughout the teenage years … the parent is trying to grapple with and understand - what it is the child is looking for … or asking for … or wants?  

The parents first have no idea why their baby is crying.  

Is the baby hungry? hot?  cold?  tired?  sleepy?  frustrated?  wet?  

The parents also have to figure out the love language of the child.  What makes the baby feel loved, happy, satisfied and content.  

Through the years - the constant observation and the struggle to understand their child continues.  

But the child keeps growing.  He can’t make up his own mind.  He shifts from one extreme to the other.  

Parents - on the other side of this growing experience of their child - need to figure out when to give advice and when they should refrain.  When to be firm or permissive.  

This is why, during the formative years - the parents need a vital connection with the Creator of their child.  The very Creator that embedded and wrote the very DNA of their child.  

The parents that stay connected with God and their child - do a superb job of disciplining and discipling their child to greater freedom and maturity.

But parents with superficial understanding and careless observation - will not be able to penetrate deep down to the soul of their child to really understand why they are doing - what they are doing.

Why they dress that way.  Why they listen to that kind of music.  Why friends become their everything.  Why they become reckless.  Why they make threats, scream, run, get tattoos, get crushed by guys that will hurt them eventually.

At this point, some parents - in their obsession for their picture perfect image and reputation begin to use bribery, threats, and all kinds of other unhealthy mediums to somehow get their way with the child.

The constant grounding, taking away privileges - does not work.  And temporary behavior adjustments do not last. 

But what will work to transform your child into the person he or she was created to be - is for you to establish a vital connection with your Heavenly Father who temporarily gave you His child under your care.

God knows why your child is acting the way he is.  He simply knows.  Understands.  Empathizes.  Still loves.  More than you ever will. 

Parents will need to ask God to open their eyes and show them what He sees and understands.  

Jesus knew exactly what everyone needed.  For the leper, it was His touch.  For the centurion, it was His Word.  For the blind, it was His actual saliva mixed with mud.  (we don’t understand why)

In every case and scenario - Jesus knew exactly what the soul needed and craved for.   

And that’s the way it is with your child.  

And generational void, gap and conflict can only be healed by God’s wisdom and His healing touch.  

Only He can empower and enable you to communicate most effectively your love for your child.  

And this is the Truth that will set your parental soul - FREE!  

The analogy for what we’re about to discover is endless.

• Safe lock
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• Protection
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There was something that the Bible characters understood that we often fail to grasp.  

I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day.  (2 Tim. 1:12)

Paul was finally convinced.  

After all the beatings, countless near-death experiences - he was finally convinced.  Convinced of what exactly?

That God guards what we trust Him with.  

What do you trust God with?

• Your money?
• Your career?
• Your family?
• Your future?
• Your life?

All that which we think is ours - isn’t ours to begin with.  But moving past that - when we trust God with all that He has entrusted us with  - God guards it!

With His omnipotence and His dear life.

When you commit to God your career, your girlfriend, and your saving’s account - God will guard them.  

And what God decides to guard - no one can take away.  

From our vantage point - it appears as though apostle Paul has lost many things.  His reputation, his health, his safety, his wealth, his career as one of the most promising disciples of Gamaliel, and his  opportunity to enter into Sanhedrin - the highest Jewish Councils in his day.  

But at the end of his life.  Paul was convinced.  In fact, he knew that he had lost nothing.  

Instead he had gained all things through Christ to whom he had entrusted all things!  

Again, what do you trust God with?  

Remember - everything you do not trust God with you’ll lose eventually.